|
Wednesday, June 07, 2006 10:26 PM
my eyes never felt this heavy. i spent a good 30 minutes sobbing just 4 hours ago. that is after a whole day of holding back my emotions. di ko na kinaya eh. my tears are just dying to flow out of my eyes. I fell asleep after that.. And I would like to think that I'm okay now.
ndi ako naiyak nung nangyayari ung kasaklapan ng buhay ko. siguro, alam ko ng mangyayari un. i just didnt think it would happen early this day. but i guess, i had my defenses already.
i knew he was losing grip. and i was denying to myself the fact that i'm aware of it. i focused on trying to sew things together. but i guess the seams aren't enough.
i started the day early. i only had 5 hours of sleep. my mind was bothered..my esteem is close to being gone..i tried to sleep again but my sister's blabbing mouth wasnt any help. i thought.."God, I've been trying hard to be a good kid.. all im asking from you now is for me to sleep, dont you think i deserve that?"
after a few minutes, i was already sitting on our dining table. Subo lang ako ng subo ng hindi man lang nalalasahan kinakain ko. i dont want to be a wreck.
but since im still unstable, i asked for reinforcements. kakak went to save me. she dragged me to the mall just to get my mind off things.. but the more did i get reminded.. the brownies.. tokyo tokyo.. shakeys.. she almost slapped me when i tried to speak of him again.
all i know now, is im okay with everything. if he wants to remain friends.. i would gladly settle for it. he is a good friend in the first place. there are just things you dont get.. and you have to be thankful to what is being offered to you.
he hasnt texted yet..and i dont know if he'll ever text again. i wouldnt be a hypocrite to say that i feel no pain. im full of it. im so scared. but i just dont want to resolve it by crying..or sourgraping. this is just a phase. and soon enough everything will be okay.
_rockiztangKIKAY_
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Im still working on few details. :)
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|